Cultural Comfort Zone

Going into this comfort zone assignment I had a lot of trouble thinking of something to do.  Growing up I never thought of people as different, I never looked at people in a judgemental way, and so I don’t think I fully understood the assignment that was being asked until I stepped out and did my own thing.  I did a couple things while exploring different things I could do.  I decided I’d go to The Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints, which is a church of the Mormon religion.  I also met up with someone I’ve been talking to online, who is from India, since I’d never met him in person before.  I also decided to walk around the mall with a classmate pretending to be lesbian lovers to see how people may react.  

Hockley Valley United Church

The first thing I decided to do was to go to The Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints locally in Belleville.  I decided this because I had gone to other religious churches before and it seemed like the only thing to do at the time.  Growing up, I had gone to three different religious churches.  The first church I went to was the local Catholic Church in Hockley Valley.  I went there with my best friend at the time and her family.  I was young enough to go to Sunday school the first time.  But I loved how they made everyone feel included, especially the children.  I then went to the local Christian Church in Hockley Valley that was across the street from the Catholic Church with a friend from school and her family.  Going to that church was very different from the Catholic Church.  During this time, I was expected to participate in the eating of the bread showing as Jesus’ body, and drinking of the wine which was to show of Jesus’ blood.  I remember having something be put in my mouth by the priest and then taking it out because it tasted like plastic.  I don’t remember the exact name of it, but it was something that people actually eat in place of bread.  I did not enjoy it.  I felt forced to participate in something I didn’t understand, and so I felt out of place and like I didn’t belong. My mom had decided that we were to go to church with her and her family one time.  We were going to go to a Pentecostal Church where we would meet up with her aunt.  We met up with her aunt just before 10am which is when we thought the services started at, and when we all walked in together, the service had started and the kids were already in Sunday school.  I felt so out of place in this church because it was our first time and we weren’t welcomed like in a small village church.

                 

Belleville Church Of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints

So in going to those three churches growing up, I thought going to a Mormon Church would be a brand new experience maybe putting me out of some kind of comfort zone so that I get a new perspective. I went on Sunday November 13^th, 2011, with a friend from work.  We went to this church and learned a lot about the religion.  Absolutely wonderful people had gone to church that day, but I honestly didn’t feel anything but love come from anybody I talked to, I was so welcomed that it was hard to feel out of my comfort zone.  I wasn’t forced to participate in hymns, I was just expected to listen and learn.  It was really a wonderful feeling.  I absolutely love going to different churches.  I was expecting to learn more about polygamy and beliefs along that.  I learned that The Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints had actually stopped publicly supporting polygamist relationships.  They don’t turn down families who believe polygamy is a way of life, but they don’t announce or advertise that people should live a polygamist lifestyle.  That was another reason why I choose this particular church, I thought polygamy was a big thing about them, but it is not as big as I thought.  I thoroughly enjoyed every minute in being a part of the community that came into The Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints on Sunday.

                 

Since going to The Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints didn’t give me the reaction I was thinking I needed for this assignment I thought I would try something else.  Since a classmate needed someone to do this assignment with I decided to do something with her.  We decided to go to the Qunite Mall and give the appearance that we were lesbian partners.  We decided to do this on Tuesday November 29^th, 2011.  But before this happened, I thought I would set up a first meeting with a guy who is from India that I have been talking to for a few months through technology only. 

                 

Gagan

Teddy Bear Gagan Got Me For My Birthday

Queen Street Sign

On November 26^th, 2011, I decided to meet up with a guy named Gagan.  I met him through an online dating site and we started sending emails back and forth.  After a while talking through email, we exchanged phone numbers.  He is currently enrolled in the paralegal program at Seneca College.  I figured I was coming home to celebrate my birthday, I thought I could do some homework too.  Gagan always told me that he was really bad at speaking English.  So I thought this would be a great opportunity to see how this fits into my comfort zone when we have a language barrier.  I’ve never had a language barrier with anyone I’ve met so I thought this would be perfect.  So I told Gagan I would be at the Bramalea City Centre (Mall in Brampton: Intersection of Queen Street and Dixie Road) at around 1 in the afternoon.  I felt comfortable knowing I was meeting him in a public place, but I had my sister on call in case something was to go wrong and so I had someone to check up on me.  We met in the food court of the Bramalea City Centre around 1 in the afternoon.  We started off with a hug and then went to sit down at the table he was sitting at before I got there.  We started talking, and it didn’t even phase me that he was bad at English.  I was talking to him like normal, and he was talking to me in slightly broken English.  I had definitely had more trouble understanding other friends of mine than I was understanding him.  And so Once I realized I could understand him better I was not out of my comfort zone at all.  So I continued to spend time with him, and we ended up walking around the mall.  While we were walking around the mall, we stopped on the second level above Santa’s Workshop.  We were just talking, looking at the kids, and watching the families walk by.  But after standing there talking over a period of time I felt out of place.  Not because I was talking with someone who is from India, but because I felt like the only white person in the mall.  I only saw 3 other white people in the entire mall.  Every other person had either tanned skin or was black.  I’m not a racist person, but growing up I was never the only white kid and so it was an entirely new experience for me.  I had spent a little over 2 hours with Gagan, and I spent about 20 minutes feeling out of place.  It was so uncomfortable for me; I can only imagine having to feel that all the time.

                

Dixie Road Sign

I got a reaction I didn’t expect from meeting up with Gagan, but I still had a plan to act like lesbian partners with a classmate.  So I went and did that on November 29^th, 2011.  I walk around different public places with my best friends doing things that may appear that I am lesbian with all of them, so I wasn’t sure how this was going to go.  I was walking with my classmate holding hands around the mall for an hour or two.  We went in different stores, pretending to shop as a normal couple might.  I did all of the initiating of holding her hand.  We talked while walking around, and she would point out different people who would look at us.  She would describe the different stares we would get.  I asked her if she felt uncomfortable, and she made it clear she was definitely out of her comfort zone.  I didn’t mind initiating the holding of our hands because with all the time I gave her to grab my hand, she never did, so I felt she needed that push out of her comfort zone.  I wasn’t going to go any further, because I could feel she was already really uncomfortable with the looks that people were giving.  I don’t remember seeing anybody looking at us, or giving any stares.  I seemed to be oblivious to any staring or looking that was going on.  I don’t think it phased me that I was doing something that people don’t understand.  My friends and I hold hands in malls all the time, we kiss each other, and we hug each other.  The fact that I was only holding her hand didn’t seem to bother me at all.

                 

So I’m glad I met up with Gagan, because I feel that was the best reaction I needed for this assignment.  I tried different things for different reasons.  And I’m glad I did.  I need to figure out more about myself.  I need to learn more about where my comfort lines are so I can help kids in the field with difficulties they may be facing with comfort zones.  I might be able to give some insight on things I’ve felt during different situations and help them come up with different ways to get through it with things that may have helped me.  Knowing my cultural comfort zones may help me participate in different cultural activities with different children and youth who may want me to go with them to help them feel more comfortable.  Putting myself out of my comfort zones will help me be a better Child and Youth Worker because I’ll have different perspectives on how to help get through the behaviour, get up the courage to go, or even to go with the child or youth to help them feel more comfortable.